


Secret Admirer

by mamuras



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Confessions, Falling In Love, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-01-14 22:53:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18486091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mamuras/pseuds/mamuras
Summary: Han Wangho has always admired Faker.But unknowingly, the admiration grew into something more.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I saw Faker's stream wherein he met Peanut and he smiled (so warmly) when Peanut replied to his emote. So yeah, here's me trying to keep this ship alive uwu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most happenings here were actually based from real events (such as LCK, MSI, Worlds, Streams, etc)

Han Wangho has never once considered becoming a professional gamer. The idea didn’t even occur to him as he was more of the type who just plays for fun.

But then all of that changed when he witnessed Faker’s debut with his famous game against Ambition. Watching Faker play had stirred something deep within him. Witnessing his first kill, noticing how he moves and dodge the skill shots, seeing how he throws his combos, watching how he and his team won the team fights and objectives, a spark was lit inside of him and Wangho felt nothing but pure admiration and astonishment. He was entirely amazed by how awesome and mesmerizing his plays were. 

And it was from that moment on that he decided he wanted to become a professional gamer. He wanted to become like _him_.

 

* * *

 

Climbing up the ladder of solo queue wasn't as easy as he thought it was. Being in the Challenger rank means he get to face equally good opponents. There were times when he won and there were times he lost. But still he persevered. He watched various videos of other professional gamers (mostly SKT videos) and analyze their plays. And as SKT and Faker continue to rose to fame by 2013 and 2014, all the more reason he wanted to be as good as them. He watched all of their matches during the LCK spring and summer split of both years. He even stayed up late just to watch their replay matches online. Afterwards, he'd played countless games everyday and test the various mechanics that he he had analyze. Even when his PC broke down, this didn't stop him from practicing because he'd just spend his savings and allowance to play in the computer shops.

And before he knew it, his hard work paid off. He got recruited by Najin and began to be a trainee. When he turned 17, Wangho played his first competitive match against SKT at SBENU Champion Springs 2015. He showed them what he and his team got. And although the results weren't really favorable, he was still glad that his team put up a fight.

 

But the fact that he lost (and how big the skill gap in the jungle was) meant only one thing: he still wasn't good enough.  So he worked twice as much harder than he did before.

 

By October 2015, Peanut watched as SKT earned their second world championship and Peanut couldn't help but be proud. He was entirely amazed by SKT's teamwork and communication. Peanut also didn't miss Faker and Bengi's smooth coordination. And while he didn't want to admit it, he felt a small pang of jealousy at how good the two played together. That night, he wondered what it feels like to play with Faker in an international stage.

 

By the end of 2015, Peanut left Najin in order to join Rox Tigers. And by joining Rox Tigers, his life would soon take a 180 degree turn.

 

* * *

 

Peanut initially thought that being the starting jungler of the Rox Tiger would take a long adjustment. He was worried that his teammates would have a hard time playing with him because of his aggressive play style. But his teammates proved him wrong. On the contrary, they easily adapted with his play style. They were willing to make risky plays and contest objectives and at the same time know when to back off. And base on the results of their scrims, with Smeb at the top lane, Kuro at mid, and Gorilla and Pray at the bot, Peanut was confident with his team.

 

When the LCK 2016 Spring Split started, Peanut and his team were able to win their first match against CJ Entus. By week 2, they continued to dominate by winning against KT Rolster and Longzhu Gaming. And by week 3, Peanut finally got one of his many wishes granted: play a game with his idol, Faker. While it wasn't the setup that he wanted since they were enemies, he was still glad he got to meet him in game.

Game one started favorably for them. They were able to take down objectives and turrets and even took down SKT's three inhibitors. But then everything turned sour in the late game team fight and baron conquest. And with SKT's late scaling team composition and the huge gap in the jungle, SKT were able to turn the tide and won game one. 

 

And while they were able to win back both games two and three (his team thinks it was because of SKT's jungler substitution), the defeat at game one left a bitter taste in Peanut's mouth because it only made him realize one thing: his jungling skills were still not good enough.

 

By the end of week 3 and week 4, Rox continued their winning streak by defeating SSG and Afreeca Freecs.

 

* * *

 

It was the evening of February 10 when Peanut got an unexpected surprise: SKT's Bang sent him a friend request on League. He accepted it without second thoughts. Bang, being the ever friendly person he was, said that he was impressed with his skills at their previous game. Hearing the complement made him glad and when Bang invited him to queue up with him, he accepted it. After playing nonstop for hours,  he was just about to leave the lobby in order to get dinner when suddenly, someone joined in.

Peanut's heartbeat instantly raced and his hands became clammy as he read the familiar IGN: **_Hide on bush._** He read Bang's chat telling him he invited Faker to play as well and hope he didn't mind at all*.

Peanut's idea of getting dinner instantly went out of the window. And yes, he didn't mind at all. In fact, he was thankful. After all, who would want to miss a great opportunity as this? If he doesn't play now, he didn't think he'll ever get to duo with Faker ever again.

That night, Wangho slept with a huge smile on his face.

 

* * *

 

The LCK Spring Split passed on like blur and they ended up dominating the other teams, having 16-2 standing, losing only to SSG during week 9 and KT Rolster during week 12. But despite being the current number one in the spring split standing, they were still defeated by SKT during the Spring playoffs. Their defeat was mortifying and crushing. He really gave it his all but it was really not enough. Despite his teammates comforting actions over him, he felt nothing but sadness and disappointment (most especially at himself). And as he watch the SKT members celebrate their victory, Wangho vowed to himself to get stronger and get better in the next split.

 

* * *

 

When LCK Summer Split came, Rox Tigers once again dominated the other teams. They ended the summer split with a 15-3 standings and were queued for the Summer Playoffs. Peanut was hoping they would get to meet with SKT in the finals in the hopes of maybe defeating them this time, but KT Rolster managed to do that for them. It wasn't what he wanted, but nonetheless, he showed everything he can do on the finals. And finally, after all the hard work they did and the devastating defeats they've tasted, they won. 

 

* * *

 

Worlds 2016 semifinals was when Rox and SKT managed to meet again. They were defeated by game 1 but they managed to get back games 2 and 3. Hope was finally within their grasp but it seems like fate was too cruel. And soon everything went out of their control, and before they knew it,  they lost the semifinals. The tears slowly fall from his eyes as the anguish and remorse sank in but he tried to cover it. He tried to show the world how strong he was. And only when he reached his hotel room did he finally took off his mask as he curled down on his bed and cried himself to sleep.

 

* * *

 

The aftermath of their defeat was utterly creepy. It seemed like their defeat was too damaging because he can’t find it in him to cry anymore, although usually he's pretty much an open canvas when it comes to emotional responses. The weeks just went on with just himself trying to reorient himself and stand up once more. It wasn't easy, especially how crippling and devastating their defeat was, but with the help of his Friends and Rox Teammates, he was able to snap out of his slump and recover from it.

By Mid-November, his contract with Rox Tigers was nearly ending. And while he and his teammates wanted to renew their respective contracts and play together once more, things weren't going as what they wanted no matter how many renegotiation happened. And in the end, the Rox tigers opted to split. He posted on his twitter account regarding the status of his contrsct and his willingness to talk to other teams**.

 

Minutes after posting it, he received a call from an unknown number. When he answered it, he was straight-out surprised by who the caller was. 

 

"Hello, Good Afternoon, This is Kim Jeonggyun of SKT, May I speak with Han Wangho?"

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * - https://twitter.com/philophobicss/status/1116387693393408001  
> ** - https://twitter.com/lolPeanut98/status/802046182474158080


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some sources where i just base the flow:  
> * - https://twitter.com/lolPeanut98/status/809036691864305670  
> ** - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZx-8GsEAWU&list=PLDEBGHd16FioLjxUfivr3tr-yCYbRArkI&index=55&t=116s  
> *** - https://twitter.com/lolPeanut98/status/813945020642246656

No more than an hour ago, the sky was painted with hues of red and orange. But now, the color has faded and the night has fallen. The cold breeze blew right through Wangho's thick jacket as he walked towards the SKT gaming house. As soon as Coach Kkoma saw the approaching figure, he immediately jogged towards Wangho

"Took you long enough!" Coach Kkoma greeted him with a smile as he helped him carry his luggage. Wangho smiled back, though the anxiety sits below his smile. Truth be told, he was feeling anxious in meeting the other SKT members. The only persons he was acquainted with were Bang, Blank, and Wolf, having played with them in League before (For him, Faker didn't really count). Kkoma took out his keys from his pocket and opened the door. Wangho followed suit, checking around the areas to ease his nerves. 

From the open door to the wide hallway, SKT's gaming house seemed finely furnished. The walls were fashionable shades of white decorated with various photographs. From the looks of it, the house seemed pretty neat. Well, until they reached the end of the hallway and saw the scattered shoes. 

"Aish...I told those rascals to clean up." Kkoma sighed as he removed his shoes and tidy up the mess, making space for his and Wangho's. As Wangho and Kkoma were about to enter, a loud voice greeted them before they could even say something.

"OY WE MADE A DEAL!!!" Wangho chuckled as he recognize Bang's loud and energetic voice. 

"I don't remember agreeing to it." Wangho paused as he heard the second voice. He gulped as he let out a shaky breath. That was definitely Faker.

"Hey guys, tone it down a little." Kkoma replied back as he guided Wangho inside, alerting them with his arrival. As they entered the living room, the seven SKT members sprawled on the floor immediately turned towards their direction, their game now forgotten*.The sudden attention made Wangho uncomfortable. But his nervousness shortly left as soon as he saw the huge smiles painted on their faces.

"Ahhhh, finally he's here!!!! Welcome Wangho!" Bang greeted loudly as he waved at him, the rest of them smiling at him. 

"All right guys, I'd like you to meet Wangho, our newest member." Kkoma calmly introduced as he pats Wangho's shoulders. "That is Profit or Junhyeong," Kkoma pointed to the guy lying down and the two exchange smiles. "That's Sky or Haneul." He said as he gestured to the guy besides Wolf who gave him a wave. "That guy is Seunghoon. You might know him as Huni." Kkoma added as he pointed to the guy besides Bang. "Of course, you probably recognize Jaewan, Sunggu, and Junsik."

"Yeah, I do." He nodded to each one of them and smiled, and they greeted back with smiles as well.

"And of course, Sanghyeok aka Faker." Wangho hesitantly nodded at him, still feeling a bit shy at meeting his idol. But as soon as their eyes met, Faker smiles at him and Wangho knees weaken (just a bit). 

"Anyways, that's it for now." Kkoma turned back his attention towards him and bought him back. "I've already sent the schedules to your SNS so just look it up. You'll be rooming temporarily with Sanghyeok for now so feel free to ask him anything."

Wangho's eyes went wide. _Wait, What?????_

"Good luck Wangho!" And before Wangho could even react, Kkoma was fast gone. The fast-paced changes totally lost him in the middle until he felt a pat on his shoulder. He gulped, turned around and was greeted with a small smile. "Come on, I'll show you around." 

SKT's gaming house was relatively normal so a tour around it shouldn't really take that much long (just roughly about 3 minutes), but for Wangho, it was the longest 3 minutes of his life. Walking beside Sanghyeok was just awkward and perplexing. Except for the usual talk such was 'whose room is whose', 'who's rooming with who', and 'that's the kitchen and bathroom', there was nothing much that Wangho could offer to keep the conversation flowing. Which should not be happening because Wangho isn’t awkward. No, normally he’s the epitome of confidence, the poster-boy for calm, cool, and collected. So why are there goosebumps on his arms? Why is he sweating? He doesn’t even  _sweat._ Is this how one normally feels when walking beside the great Faker?

As the two continued walking in heavy silence, the voices of the other members getting fainter, Sanghyeok leading him towards the room at the end of a small hallway. "This room is ours. And the one across is Sunggu and Jaewan's."

Sanghyeok cracks the door open and the two went inside, with Wangho eyeing the room. It was relatively small and cluttered, containing a neatly-made two lofted beds and two small desks. It’s clean—perfectly clean, but the desk on the left were full of novels and small plants. To the right of the bed was a small closet where Wangho then settled his luggage.

"Anyways, that's just about it." Sanghyeok said. Another heavy silence settled over them, a bit thicker. Unsettled eyes glanced unceremoniously around and tried to avoid catching each other's glances that passed by. Sanghyeok rubbed his nape, clearing his throat awkwardly, and Wangho realized he should probably say something. But before Wangho could even say anything, Junsik's loud voice called them out. "Wangho-ya!!! Sanghyeok-ah!! Join us now!!!" That seem to have broken the ice and the two of them laughed awkwardly at the rowdiness.

"We're coming!!!" Sanghyeok shouted back. "Let's go?" Wangho nodded, the earlier feeling of being overwhelm and embarrassed now dissipating.

And that was how Wangho's first night began as an SKT member began

 

* * *

 

Wangho flopped down onto his bed, exhausted after the countless card games they have played. He was glad that he was happily welcomed and he was beginning to warm up to the other members. He would have been long asleep now had it not for  _someone_ staring at him.

Sanghyeok is staring at him.

His gaze was chilling him. It wasn't exactly uncomfortable, but it's still heavy all the same (and it definitely makes his skin tingle). He turns around and Sanghyeok's eyes dart away, as though he'd been caught doing something bad. 

"Are you...looking at me?" he asks, making sure to keep his tone light, because the last thing he wants to do is to come out rude in front of his idol.

"Oh. Sorry..." Sanghyeok says quickly. "It's just...never mind. It's nothing"

"It doesn't sound like nothing to me." Wangho smiles at him and sits up. He runs a hand through his hair to fix it, and he noticed the way Sanghyeok's focus is drawn to the movement. He gave him a confused look, slightly tilting his head.

"It's just...your hair."

Wangho looked confused. "Is there something on it?" He asks, running his hand through it again, tugging on the ends of his bangs.

"No..." he assures him. “Just...it seems like any color suits your hair just fine.” He explained.

Oh.

Well, that was...

Unexpected. 

But for some unknown reason, Wangho felt warm hearing it, like he was just brought to cloud nine. Now he's going to be self-conscious regarding his hair when Sanghyeok's around. His thoughts were then brought back when he heard him clearing his throat awkwardly. He looked back at him and saw him put on a roguish smirk. Wangho furrowed his brows in confusion. "Anyways, I saw your stream before. I didn't know you were a such a fan of me."

Wangho's eyes widen in shock, a bit confuse at first, until he realize that he meant about the rice cake fiasco (that one time where he get to duo with Sanghyeok because Junsik invited him**). He feels himself flushing and shakes his head wildly, grabbing the sheets and pulling them over himself with embarrassment. 

"You must be tired. You might wanna get some sleep now." Wangho can _definitely_ sense the teasing tone in it (He was sure he heard some faint snickers). He took a small peak from his blanket, and he saw Sanghyeok back to reading his book, with a small smirk on his face. He cringed internally, totally embarrassed by the sudden turn of events. 

"G-goodnight, hyung." He muttered back shyly as he roll over on the opposite side to hide his very flustered face.

"Goodnight, Wanghoya."

 

* * *

 

Three week has passed since he transferred and he has fully adjusted to living with the other SKT members. It was also a good thing that the schedule that Coach Kkoma had given him weren't that much different from his previous schedule when he was at Rox: there was the usual scrims, practice, feedback periods, solo queues, breaks and streaming. 

Through his stay, Wangho had easily befriended Haneul, Sunggu, and Seunghoon (maybe due to the fact that they were close of age). Haneul seemed to be the shy type but when he opens up to you, his bubbly personality and easy going attitude makes it easy to be friends with him. Not to mention that he is kind, caring, and affectionate. Sunggu was more of the in-between type. He is calm, collected, and accommodating but can go loud and wild at times. And despite being the younger one among the two of them, he is highly dependable. Though he notes that Sunggu can be a bit stubborn like him. Junhyung-hyung was more of the mature and silent type. And although he prefer his time alone, he is always there whenever you need help. 

Seunghoon was the total opposite. He was a literal ball of energy, always excited and energized whenever around with people. He is high spirited, lively and fun to be around but can be blunt and straightforward when he needs to. Put in Junsik who lives his life by teasing and pushing buttons as much as is humanly possible and Jaewan who has a soothing and gentle personality (but has a way of getting under your skin if he wants to) and Wangho found himself a one hell of a chaotic (but fun) team. 

Sanghyeok though was another story. The cool, intimidating, and composed image of Sanghyeok that Wangho has come to build up over his mind (due to him being a fan) had slowly burst like a bubble. On the contrary, Sanghyeok's personality was far from it. One minute he's all in a corner reading a book, and then the next thing Wangho sees is him childishly squabbling with the other members. At times he'll just be busy on his phone, but then a minute later he's out there poking you or ruffling your hair (He has been a constant victim of it). He'll occasionally go from being nonchalant to throwing dad jokes at almost anyone (jokes that no matter how much of a fan Wangho is, couldn't bring himself to laugh at it). He initially debated whether or not Sanghyeok was a robot because on his first night rooming with him, he was too engrossed on his book for hours that he still caught him reading it on the wee hours in the exact same position. (Turns out he wasn't a robot cause when he woke up the following day, he saw Sanghyeok dead asleep) 

Whatever perception Wangho initially has on Sanghyeok now went out of the window. And the Sanghyeok that he has come to familiarize were that of awkward dad jokes, dopey smiles, a night owl with a cranky personality and silly bedhairs in the morning, childlike tendencies, and a _really_ teasing personality. And while he may not be the outgoing, extroverted type, he's also not a recluse (like what other people thought) either.

Wangho was also glad that he was able to act normally to the other members now. He no longer felt overwhelmed about everything nor get shy or awed when interacting with his idol, Faker. In fact, he can now exchange playful banters with him (and even tease him), which is something that he considers an achievement because the old him would have just frozen on the spot upon talking with him.  

But despite Wangho slowly getting accustomed with SKT, he was having a hard time fitting his play style with them. At Rox Tigers, Wangho excelled at being an aggressive jungler and dictating the flow since Kuro was able to absorb pressure in the midlane, which allows him to win over the top and bot lane and collapse that pressure to the opposing midlane. But with Sanghyeok in the midlane, he was having a difficult time doing what most teams in LoL do which is putting pressure in the midlane and working outwards. Not to mention that there's also Seunghoon in the top lane and Junsik on the bot lane who are also reliable carries in the team.

The end result? It was a disaster. Their communication and synergy were awful and they were defeated on most of their scrims. Coach Kkoma initially predicted this and he was patient and understanding throughout their defeats, constantly reminding them to just communicate properly. This however didn't sit well with Wangho, especially since he was currently ranked number one in the Korean Server*** and being number one means he should be an excellent player. With their current scrim standing, he was beginning to doubt if he was even worthy of being the number one player. 

Wangho sighs and lays his head down on his pillow as he mulls over his current problem.

"That's deep." He turned his head and saw Sanghyeok staring at him, curious-eyed from his bed. "Want to talk about it?"

"It's just...nevermind." Wangho dismisses, not wanting to entertain any sort of self-doubt anymore. 

"Let me guess, you're thinking about our scrims." Sanghyeok asks, voice and expression serious, and Wangho blinks at him, surprised that he got it right. 

"Waaahh hyung! since when were you a mind reader now?" Wangho asks, sounding shocked but with a teasing tone, and Sanghyeok snickered at him, clearly amuse. Well, seeing as how the cat is now out of the bag, Wangho might just share some of his thoughts. "But you're right though. I'm just thinking on what I should change or what I should improve."

Sanghyeok stares at him, his gaze a bit analytical as though waiting to see what he will do. It's a bit intimidating, but he now knows that it's just Sanghyeok in thinking mode. 

And then Sanghyeok smiled.

(which for unknown reason warms Wangho's heart) 

"You don't have to change anything. Just do what you usually do and talk to us, and we'll meet you halfway." Sanghyeok commended, offering him a warm smile that makes his skin tingle.

Wangho laughs lightly, clearly caught off guard by what Sanghyeok said. "Thanks, hyung." He smiled back reassuringly. For once, he's definitely glad he talked to him about it because a newfound confidence burst within him after what he said and now he suddenly feels undefeated. 

 

That night, Wangho was able to sleep with a smile painted on his face and his mind at ease.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! Got caught up with Avengers Endgame and GoT series T^T and MSI 2019 is coming as well (so i've been busy playing league missions hhaaha) uwu! Let's cheer for SKT!!~


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> During matches, I decided to use their player names so it'll be a bit more professional. (I hope the readers are familiar with the game terms)
> 
> (some references)  
> * - https://twitter.com/junglehwh/status/823881097545064448  
> ** - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bjd_-XRFB-Y  
> *** - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8b0cA0zbLI (@2:14)

Wangho stretches out his arms, sits up and rubs his eyes. He leans forward and squints his eyes to see him across the room, and all he can make out is a mess of black hair poking out from underneath the sheets. He smiled as he remembered their conversation last night and a part of him wishes that the blankets would drift lower, possibly giving him a view of Sanghyeok's face, but he scolds himself for that thought. Wanting to see one’s roommate’s expression while sleeping isn’t a normal thought, is it?

His phone buzzes, and he glances down to see the time: it was 8 am. Normally now, he would've just stay in bed for a few more minutes and browse his phone. But today, he feels the sudden burst of motivation. That light feeling that runs in his veins. 

He stands up and grabs his towel from the closet and head towards the bathroom to start off the day. A few minutes later, Wangho finishes his bath. He dries off his hair, then wraps a towel around his waist, grabbing his toothbrush out and swiping some toothpaste on it and begins brushing his teeth. When he was finished, he walked towards his room immediately and went inside.

Sanghyeok stares at him, wide-eyed from his bed.

Oh.

Okay so maybe he should have changed at the bathroom.

(But he’s wearing a towel? So what does it matter? And why is he awake? he's usually not awake at this time, so then why?) 

And then there is that gaze, again. That heavy gaze that tingles his skin. A gaze which he can't seem to figure out (Wangho knows that it's totally different from his thinking gaze).

It looked physically painful for Sanghyeok to tear his eyes away. But he does. Wangho shuts the door, and talks to Sanghyeok through it. "Hyung, what time did you go to bed last night?"

"I don’t know."

"Aigoooo. That's not healthy, hyung." he chastises.

"Not too late, don’t worry." Sanghyeok promises. Wangho doesn’t answer, instead just hummed while putting on a pair of sweatpants, a blue shirt and his sneakers.

"Where are you going anyway?" Sanghyeok asks with a small frown. "It's still a bit early."

"Oh...got nothing to do so I might just start practice early. See you later, hyung."

"Hmmmm...okay..." Wangho smiles widely, shaking his head in disbelief, as he sees Sanghyeok's figure went to bed once more as he went out.

 

* * *

It did got better.

Things did got better.

Weeks rolled in and for some unknown reasons, they were able to bounce back from their defeats and managed to find their rhythm and tempo. There were still occasional misplays but there was definitely an improvement and Wangho was happy with that (better small improvements than none at all).

Gradually Wangho also began to work his way up in expanding his champion pool, trying out different champions to fit different strategies, going further from his limits in case he gets ban focused. It was difficult at first, timing the skillshots combos with smiting (should he need to steal some objectives) and other champion mechanics, but he was able to adapt to some champions. Kkoma was able to give him some helpful tips and his team have been patient with him and his adjustments from playing a carry champion to a utility champion.

And he will always be forever thankful to them.

~

Wangho flopped down onto his bed, exhausted after another long day of practicing. Nowadays he was almost constantly tired, a bone deep weariness that was both grueling and satisfying. With the LCK Spring Split opening tomorrow, and their first match happening the day after, he came to his room every day wanting nothing more than to eat and sleep for a week. But while his body yearned for sleep, his mind dreaded it. Rather, his mind is just imagining different scenarios for the upcoming spring split.

"You know, you should get some sleep now," Wangho chuckled at hearing the familiar voice, turning his head towards his roommate.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping also?" He barked back, his tone light and amused. 

Wangho is tired, though. So he’s not even sure how Sanghyeok can be a proper functioning human being while managing to stay up past unknown times. Not to mention, Wangho hasn’t even seen him drink caffeine. Sanghyeok pulls his phone back onto his face, but Wangho notes that he removed his earphones. "Let me guess, you're surfing the net?" Wangho guesses.

Sanghyeok chuckled. "Yeah. Sad to say there aren't that many search results for ‘how to make a roommate sleepy.’"

"Hmmmm. How about you try searching for 'how to make my roommate funny.'"

Sanghyeok does a laugh—that stupid giggle that was a melody to Wangho's ears—and smiles softly at him. Wangho smiles back, wonders if it would be possible to do anything else, and yawns again. “Goodnight, hyung.” He says as he rolls onto his other side.

“Goodnight, Wanghoya.”

 

* * *

LCK Spring Split finally came and SKT's new roster debuted quite well. Their first enemy for week one was Jin Air Green wings and they easily dominated them in game one. Peanut was able to successfully gank mid and gave first blood to Faker. Of course, Jin Air was able to counter it and by the 12 minute mark, they were ahead of them in gold. But because they still have the map pressure, they were able to secure objectives such as the drakes and by the 15 minute mark, they got the gold lead and were able to keep it towards the end. Game two had a rough start with Jin Air being able to get the lead by securing first blood. But they were able to take the lead back by getting a few kills and securing the first tower. And once they had the lead, they kept it all through out, closing their first game in a dominating fashion. By the end of the game, Huni and Faker were the MVPs.

Their second enemy for week one was Kongdoo Monster. They were able to secure the lead easily thanks to Huni's first blood solo kill in the top lane. And eventually, they win both two games and finish it in a much faster time.

LCK Spring Split Week two came in and their only opponent was Rox Tigers. Game one started on SKT's favor thanks to Faker's first blood solo kill on the against the opposing midlaner. Wolf and Bang were able to secure the second and third kills as well against the opposing bot lane. The lead further grew again thanks to Faker killing the opposing jungler in a 2v1 gank. But the nail in the coffin was definitely Peanut's baron steal which accelerated their gold lead further and eventually finished the game in just 31 minutes. Game two were still in their favor thanks to Peanut's counter gank and Faker's rotation in the bottom lane which secured them 3 kills against 1. But the baron team fight where SKT scored an ace against Rox definitely showcased their team strength and by 26 minutes, they were able to defeat them. Faker was the MVP for both matches.

~

Later that day, SKT were scheduled for some interviews and photo shoots to celebrate their victory and current 3-0 standing. Once they were done, they were called by the photographer to have their group photo. Jaewan and Seunghoon went to the left place respectively, followed by Sanghyeok in the middle, then Junsik and Wangho. Junsik frowned, glancing from left to right, and then evilly grinned.

"Aigoooo!! this position _definitely_ won't work out." Junsik says seriously, but there does seem to be an underlying teasing tone. "Sanghyeok should move to the other side." The rest of SKT frowns, confused at Junsik for that sudden suggestion.

And then Jaewan suggested the same thing, which made Seunghoon laugh. "You know what Junsik, you're _absolutely_ right about that."

Sanghyeok understood what the two were trying to do and is grinning at their crazy antics. "Come on guys, stop." But Junsik is not having it, and instead began pulling Sanghyeok's arm to move and bring him to the other side. Wangho seems to have caught on what Junsik was trying to do - moving Sanghyeok so he could be beside him.

And in that moment, Wangho wishes nothing more than to disappear. He wished for the floor to just eat him right now. He is super embarrassed at what they are doing (which is putting together the idol, Sanghyeok, and him, the fan.) He is cringing so much internally. He'll definitely murder Junsik later on for teasing him.

After a few seconds of Junsik, Jaewan, and Seunghoon ganging up nonstop on Sanghyeok*, the midlaner yielded and stood beside Wangho. The photo shoot went on like a breeze. And while Wangho might not remember much on the things that happened that day, he'll never forget that weird feeling he got in is gut when Sanghyeok stood (a bit closer) beside him.

 

* * *

Week three of the spring split came and they were rewarded with a day off. The rest of the members used this to go out (and probably have some fun) while Wangho, being the second laziest person in the squad (Sanghyeok is first), used this opportunity to just laze around and sleep.

A nudge on his shoulders makes him jerk awake. Slowly and reluctantly, he uncovers his face. Wangho blinks, close his eyes, and blink again. He sit up, drag his feet off the bed, and rub his knuckles onto his eyes and that's when he heard a _familiar_ voice chuckling in the background.

"Ahhhhhh hyung... why did you wake me up?" Wangho says as he stretch his arms above his head and yawn, running his hand his hair and fixing the ends of his bangs.

Sanghyeok cleared his throat. "We're being called out. Coach says it's an emergency meeting." He said in a serious tone which made Wangho worry. Was it because of his performance on their previous games? But he already explained that he was feeling a bit under the weather that time and Coach Kkoma understood.

The two went out of their room, with Sanghyeok walking behind Wangho. His mind was so out that as soon as he reached the living room, a handful of people jumped out and yelled ‘Happy Birthday’. Wangho looked at the people in the room, surprise written all over his face. When the shock of it all wore off, he chuckled. Damn, he was so busy with the tournament he totally forgot his own birthday.

He looked back and saw Sanghyeok grinning and Wangho shakes his head in disbelief. Jaewan then dragged him towards the table and Wangho sits down. Then everyone started singing happy birthday to him and Wangho couldn't help but look down, feeling a bit shy with all the attention. And Sanghyeok throwing tender punches at him didn't help either because for some unknown reasons, it was making his stomach do weird stuff**.

"Do I cut this?" Wangho say as he hold the knife.

"Who else will?" Jaewan says, a bit eager to have a taste on the cake though Junsik and Sungu beat him to it by picking up two of the strawberries. Coach Kkoma, being caring as ever, offered to cut the cake and Wangho gladly appreciated. 

"Yah, you don't look all that happy." Sanghyeok teases in delight.

"Ahhh hyung, what are you saying." Wangho scolds, but he’s smiling anyways. "I am happy." 

When the cake has been sliced, the members immediately attacked it and Wangho couldn't help but laugh at the scenario.

"Happy birthday, Wanghoya." Sanghyeok says as he stood beside him and began ruffling his hair. Normally Wangho would've protested this act already (because one, his hair would get messed up. And two, because Sanghyeok touching his hair makes him self-conscious), but today he doesn't mind.

On the contrary, he kinda _likes_ it.

Must be because of his birthday (he reasoned out on his mind)

And that he is happy.

Has never been happier.

 

* * *

SKT's next opponent for week three is MVP. They were able to secure the first blood thanks to Wolf's smart play in the bot lane. Peanut was able to secure the second kill and from then on, they were able to snowball their lead and secure the first tower. By the late game, their team fighting were so impressive that even the casters praise them, saying that they almost have one mind. They were able to finish their first game in 27 mins with an 18 thousand gold lead. Game two started in favor of MVP by getting the first kill. They were able to bounce back thanks to Huni's solo kill which eventually led to them getting the first tower. However, MVP were able to get back at them by stealing the Baron from them and SKT had to slow the game and defend. And when MVP attempted to get the second Baron in order to get a huge lead and possibly defeat SKT, Peanut was able to steal it from them and reclaim their lead once more and this led them to victory. By the end of the matches, Wolf and Peanut were the MVP.

~

After the matches, the members went towards their waiting room to rest shortly and decide where to eat dinner while Wangho and Jaewan were called by their manager for their mvp pictorial. 

"Hey, your hands are sticking out." Sanghyeok randomly pops in which surprised Wangho because one minute ago, he was just on the other room with his phone glued on his face. Wangho couldn't help but wonder if Sanghyeok came here just to tease him.

"Hold it with your hand," Sanghyeok says as he arrange Jaewan's jacket. When he is satisfied, he withdraw and the manager is about to snap some photos. Sanghyeok then looked at Wangho and the latter caught him with a mischievous smile. "Wangho-ah, make some cute faces~"***

Confirmed. Sanghyeok is clearly here to tease him.

When they finished shooting, Wangho stood up and head towards Sanghyeok who is still obviously amused. Wangho crossed his arms, raising his eyebrows in a challenge. "Did you just come here to make fun of me?" Wangho tried to ask in an annoyed manner, but the flicker of amusement in his tone gave it away. 

"You’ve always been fun to tease, Wangho-ah.” Sanghyeok teases, and Wangho blushes, throwing soft punches at his arm to hide it.  

"I think I should be offended by that," Wangho mumbles in between.

"Okay, okay, I’ll stop," Sanghyeok says, gently rubbing his arms. "Everyone's leaving now. Let's go?"

"Sure."

 

* * *

LCK Spring Week 4 rolled and SKT's next opponent is Afreeca Freecs. Coach Kkoma predicted that it'll be a tough match especially since MaRin is on top and now, Wangho's former teammate Kuro is on the mid. But he reminded them that they'll be fine as long as they'll minimize their mistakes.

The first game started nice and even, until it hit the 2 minute mark and Peanut overstayed with his invade which lead to him dying and giving first blood over to Afreeca Freecs. They were able to turn it back immediately after Peanut and Faker won a 2v2 fight in the mid. Afreeca Freecs were able to answer back after Faker died from tower diving, but thanks to Bang's crossmap arrow, they were able to secure another kill. The two teams exchanged blows equally for with SKT in the lead. But then Afreeca Freecs bounced back by securing the Baron. And a few more misplays ultimately lead to Afreeca freecs getting the elder dragon and a second baron which ultimately cost them game 1. 

Game two immediately went in favor of Afreeca Freecs after 4 person gank against Huni. SKT answered back with Faker, Bang and Wolf securing a kill on the bot lane. The two teams exchange a few more trades and it has been pretty equal so far, until Afreeca Freecs took the baron by the 26 minute mark which allowed them to push and snowball the game ultimately defeating them and ending their winning streak.

The moment Wangho's screen displayed 'defeat', his brain formulated no thoughts other than to register that he was shocked.

~

That day, Wangho decides to tuck in a bit earlier, feeling a bit sluggish. Not that he was going to sleep. No. He'll just watch the replay of their previous match and analyze his mistakes (and probably wallow in disappointment over his poor performance.) He watch the match replay on his phone, skipping only to the scenes where he misplays and were in a bad positions.

On his third rewatch, _someone_  broke his reverie.

"Nothing is going to change no matter how long you watch it, you know." Wangho glances across, then back down at his phone, then laughs a little. He was _too_ engrossed he didn't even noticed that Sanghyeok had already entered and settled down on his bed. He must have look like an idiot, sitting there watching his failed plays. 

A silence settles between them, companionable with a hint of awkwardness and embarrassment. 

But to his surprise, it was Sanghyeok who speaks first.

"There aren't any absolute winners in League. We just need to work even harder in the future." 

Wangho stared at him, amazed. Because Sanghyeok is right. They can win a lot of game or possibly a series, but there will never be an absolute winner that will be undefeated for their entire career. And all they need to do is to stand up from their loss and continue to look forward to their next challenge. 

Wangho smiles, truly grateful.

"Thanks Hyung."

And Sanghyeok smiles back.

"Anytime."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SKT MADE IT TO THE SEMIS!! YAY!! let's cheer for them later as they take on G2!!
> 
> (and I heard Peanut is also in vietnam so my delulu mode is on fire🔥)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * - CS or (creep score) is the number of minions hit by the players.  
> ** - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lcbdg6mxp2I&list=PLrtg3MOb7tvG1jv3ue09GZo99IpCxhsTB&index=136 (4:25)

The following morning, Wangho woke up in a refreshing mood, the talk from last night doing wonders to him. They were scheduled for another scrim session this morning and Sanghyeok and him made plans of going to the practice room together.

Except...

Sanghyeok is sleeping. It’s almost nine in the morning, and he’s still sleeping, and Wangho isn’t sure why he’s sitting awkwardly on the edge of his bed, peering at his sleeping roommate, until it occurs to him that he wants to wake Sanghyeok up. He's never tried it before, waking him up that is. And now he wants to. Just to tease him, maybe since he's well aware that Sanghyeok isn't the morning type of person.

But then he hears a noise, so he glances over at Sanghyeok's bed only to see the boy turning over to face him, eyes gently shut and the sunlight brushing over his features and hair, making it glimmer. And then another noise.

(Ah...so he talks in his sleep)

Wangho smiled because it's kind of cute. Perhaps Sanghyeok is even  _picking on_ someone in his sleep or throwing dad jokes at someone.

(Picking on. Yeah because he might not seem to be that _type_ of person, being often perceived as someone quiet and intimidating, the unkillable king who barely smiles. But he's actually friendly and kind and childlike and a _huge tease._  Not to mention these little quirks, like the way he touches his hair or smiles so warmly or talks in his sleep, that makes rooming with him worth it)

Either way, Wangho shifts his weight and lies down back to his bed, giggling like a kid because Sanghyeok is still talking in his sleep. 

And then he hears a yawn and turns around, glancing over his shoulder. It appears that Sanghyeok isn’t quite awake, but is in the midst of waking, his body shifting as he rolls onto his back, one of his arms slowly stretching out, eyes still shut. Long, dark eyelashes contrast against his pale skin, tongue darting out to wet his lips and his other hand reaching up in an attempt to brush the sleep away from his eyes.

"Good morning," Wangho greets, perfectly content with watching him.

Sanghyeok shifts again, rolling back onto his side, facing the wall this time. There’s a muffled noise which Wangho assumes was supposed to be a greeting. Not exactly enthusiastic, like he predicted. He continued watching Sanghyeok, smiling as he watches the boy stretch out his arms again, above his head this time. There’s another mutter, one that sounds roughly like the word ‘time.’

"It’s nine," he answers. Sanghyeok groans and he laughed. 

"You awake yet?" Wangho asked, still amused.

"Hmmm...sort of," Sanghyeok answers.

"Then get ready already hyung or we're gonna be late." Sanghyeok yawns but obeys nonetheless, and Wangho couldn't help but think it's cute. Sanghyeok in the mornings is definitely a sight to behold. He mentally notes to do this thing more often.

 

* * *

Their loss against Afreeca Freecs fueled Wangho more to be better. Kkoma calmly reminded them that it wasn't their mechanics or team fighting skills that had gone wrong but rather their misplays and mispositionings. Nonetheless, SKT didn't dwell over this loss and instead strive to be better next game. 

And they did.

On their first game against BBQ, they managed to get the first blood on the top lane. Bang and Wolf were able to secure the second kill because of their incredible play. And Faker and Peanut were able to kill the opposing jungler in a fight by the river. They were able to snowball the game instantly towards victory since they dominated in every single lane, ending the game in just 28 minutes. By the end of the match, SKT still remained at the top with a 5-1 standing. 

~~

That evening, the members were expected to have their individual feedbacks. During Wangho's turn, Coaches Kkoma, Rapidstar and Ccarter commended him for slowly adjusting with the rest of SKT in a short amount of time. And although his mechanics were on point, there is still a huge room for improvement especially since there were still the usual minor mistakes. Nonetheless, Wangho accepted the constructive remarks and promised to continue improving. Feeling happy with his feedbacks, Wangho left the practice room in a very good mood.

He heads back to the gaming house, eager to tell Sanghyeok the remarks he got. It may just be small and trivial, but after rooming with Sanghyeok, Wangho has gotten used to telling him all his news. It had become this thing of theirs to just talk about anything with each other. As he arrives, he looked for him in the living room but found it empty.

_Maybe he's on our room?_

He heads to his room, and pauses. He frowns after seeing it slightly opened, a rare occurrence since both of them has always have this habit of keeping the doors closed. He got closer and closer, and as he move, voices grew clearer.

_Junsik?_

".......you telling Wangho?" He froze. He shouldn’t be too surprised that Sanghyeok was talking to Junsik, they are close friends after all. But the fact that he just heard his name didn’t stop him from freezing in surprise and all thoughts of leaving went out of his head.

_Tell me what?_

There was a long silence and Wangho couldn't hear much because the voice grew soft. "Why.........," The voice grew fainter and Wangho had to move closer.

".....Wangho's not..like.... Seongung....," He swallows and Wangho doesn't know what to feel. His brain went numb and his heart was a mess in his chest, and he could feel heat all over his face and crawling down his neck like an itch, like a burn. His breath was shallow and uneven and he felt like his vision was going tunneled. He suddenly realized that he had unconsciously moved closer and he was horrified with himself. No matter what he heard, he was eavesdropping into a private conversation. He had no right to listen to it. 

As silently as he could, he backed away from the door, hurrying off down the corridor on light feet, making sure the sound of his footsteps was silent and leaving no trace behind of him being there at all.  

_Tell me what exactly?_

_Is it my jungling skills?_

_But I thought he was fine with my jungling mechanics?_

_Am I so terrible that they have to compare me? Do they have to talk behind me on it?_

Wangho heads outside the gaming house as fast as he can to calm himself down. He felt like he is barely controlling his breathing. He couldn't focus on anything besides the terrible thoughts that plague his mind. His heart is wild and unruly, beating far too fast and too hard in his chest. When he is finally outside, he could have collapsed by the doorway, but he managed to stay standing, leaning one arm against the wall while his other hand clutched his chest. He felt claustrophobic, boxed in, and he needed to get away from everything.  

He stayed curled there for an immeasurable moment, didn't look up or open his eyes until he felt his heart start to move in a balanced, strident rhythm. He stood up and fix himself, putting on a strong mask as if nothing just happened. He goes back inside and head towards his room. When he opened the door, he is immediately greeted by Sanghyeok.

"Oh Wangho!" Sanghyeok greets, and smiles warmly. And Wangho can feel a pang in his heart. "Took you long enough. How were the feedbacks?"

Wangho smiles back anyway, though it's seemed forced. "It's... all right."

Sanghyeok frowns at the somber tone of his voice, but nods anyway. But before Sanghyeok could say anything else, Wangho instantly backed away from him and lies down to his bed immediately, fearing he might say or do something.

"I'm a bit tired hyung. I'll sleep now." Wangho says, rolling his back and facing the wall.

"Oh... o-okay... goodnight."

Wangho forced his eyes shut. He prayed so hard for slumber to take him otherwise his thoughts will surely eat him out.

 

* * *

Wangho thought he'll feel better the next day. 

Or the day after.

But he didn't. 

The dark thoughts that haunts his mind are very much like salt - too much of it ruins an entire dish. And now he's having too much of it and it is beginning to affect him. His day started out bad already because the moment he woke up, the negative thoughts bothered him again. It got worse after he ended up with a losing streak during his solo queue practice because he couldn't focus properly. 

And this  _should not_ be happening because he will be having a match with Longzhou Gaming in a few hours. And it will surely be a tough match since he'll be facing his former teammates, Pray and Gorilla.

~~

The first game started out fine, everyone was more or less even in terms of cs*. But then Pray and Gorilla made a play in the bottom lane which resulted in Longzhou getting first blood. This made Peanut a bit guilty because he wasn't able to react to it. More misplays started to happen and in an extended skirmish, Faker was forced to back away. Peanut, Wolf and Bang attempted to salvage it, but Gorilla's perfect exhaust turned the events and Longzhou was able to win it. 

Peanut's judgement and focus began to drop as the game progresses. This resulted in them almost getting wiped out during the Baron fight which forced them to concede the elder dragon to their opponent . And as Longzhou begin their siege, they were caught in a bad position and Peanut got jumped on as they defend. This allowed Longzhou to push towards victory.

Seeing how disoriented Peanut was during the game, Kkoma had no choice but to sub Blank in.

~~

A few minutes after the second game began, Coach Kkoma entered the waiting room, carrying a glass of water in one hand and a coffee in the other. At the sight of Wangho sitting at the end of the couch, he smiled warmly.

"Hey..." He greeted, walking across the room to where Wangho sat and handing him the glass of water. Wangho forced a smile back, hoping he hadn’t worried Kkoma too much. Their coach might seem cheery enough but Wangho could see the darker concern that was hiding just behind his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Coach." Wangho mumbled, his eyes filled with shame and guilt over what had happened. Wangho knows his lapses and mistakes and he acknowledged it. 

"It’s alright." Kkoma sat down next to him, far enough away that Wangho didn’t feel smothered but close enough that the gesture was comforting. "We are allowed to have our off days. It happens to everyone, so don't beat up yourself on it all right? I'm sure you've learn something from this experience and that is more important."

Wangho nodded in understanding.

"Now, I want you to rest well today." Kkoma's voice was abnormally gentle in the quiet of the room. “We still have another match the day after tomorrow, and I want you on your top form, is that all right?”

“Yes, coach.” Wangho was determined. He can't afford to compromise their team just because of him. He needs to be strong and he needs to put behind whatever anxious feeling he has. He needs to rule out his mind or it will rule him out. He still had a lot to prove and he wouldn’t give that up for anything.

At the end of the matches, SKT was able to win back games 2 and 3 and managed to remain at the top spot.

~~

As per Kkoma's instruction, Wangho finished his solo queue practice an hour early than scheduled in order to rest and calm his mind, the aftereffects of the day finally catching up with him. He heads back into the gaming house alone rather than going home with Sanghyeok (a routine that they've developed) just to get his mind off. 

An hour later and Wangho heard the bedroom door opened. He looked up and saw Sanghyeok entered, and in a flash, their eyes locked. For a second, Wangho wondered what Sanghyeok was thinking about, but before he could ask the moment has passed, the faraway look disappearing from Sanghyeok's eyes in an instant and the full force of his gaze returned to look firmly back at Wangho.

Wangho looked away, shifting his weight and rolled on the opposite side. Somehow he found that he had trouble looking Sanghyeok in the eye. The intensity in his gaze was hard to match and Wangho felt strangely vulnerable when Sanghyeok looked at him that way.

Thankfully, Sanghyeok didn’t seem to feel the need to ask any more questions and they passed the rest of the night in silence. Wangho knows he needs to do something about his personal situation that's been bothering him nonstop, but deep down he's afraid. 

So for the sake of everyone, he'll just forget everything, bury it deep down, and pretend nothing happened.

* * *

Wangho prepared himself (mentally) for their match against SSG. He doesn't want to happen again what happened previously and he is determined to work on it.

~~

As Game 1 starts, SKT had a slight advantage on their laning phase because the champions SSG picked didn't really counter the champions they've picked. But as the game went on, SSG's jungler and midlaner ganked Faker and despite using all of his summoner spells, Faker still lost and gave first blood to SSG. Peanut apologized to him for not being there but Faker says it's okay. The game went on and SSG were able to get the first tower as well as the infernal drake.

But Peanut didn't let this get to him. Instead, he continue to focus and keep his cool. And this paid off because by the 22 minute mark, they were able turn the tide by winning the team fight by the river and getting a drake. As the game progresses, they are able to pick a kill on SSG's jungler which allowed SKT to get the baron. And when SSG try to get the Elder dragon, Peanut is able to steal it and this help SKT to their push to victory. 

Game 2 was much more in their favor. Peanut was able to get the first kill and Faker got the second. In an extended small fight at the midlane, both teams lost their midlaner but Peanut and Wolf managed to get SSG's support as well, thus giving them the lead. As the game continued, Peanut is caught by the opposing jungler and Faker back him up. But a slight miscommunication between him and Faker cost them their lives. 

Thankfully, Wolf and Bang were able to take the lead back by securing the first tower, allowing them to rotate. Eventually, they took down the opposing midlaner. And with the opposing team down with one man, they easily take down the baron and push towards the nexus, securing their 7-1 lead.

~~

After the match, Wangho excused himself and head towards the bathroom. Taking a deep breath, Wangho reorients himself inside and continued with his plan: pretend that nothing is wrong. He entered the waiting room with a smile plastered on his face and the rest of the SKT members greeted him back, with Sungu and Haneul congratulating him for their win. And because their next game is still on March, Kkoma rewarded them with a short vacation for their efforts and hard work. 

"I'm going to make some abs during vacation." Sanghyeok exclaimed out of nowhere**, but his eyes are locked on Wangho, as if initiating a conversation with him, taunting him in a small banter. And Wangho is happy to submit. After all, he promise to himself to forget what happened before. So he needs to act like the usual Wangho.

Wangho smirked, raising an amused eyebrow at him and said, "Bullcrap, I'm sure you're not going to work out."

"I'm _making_ abs in three days." Sanghyeok declared once more.

"Stop lying." Wangho teases back in delight, and Sanghyeok finally closes the space between them so he could softly tackle him, just like what they always do.

And this made Wangho laugh. Because no matter how bothered he was before, it seems like it's not showing anymore. And that is definitely an achievement.

 _'Everything's fine,'_ Wangho thinks to himself as he continued to tease Sanghyeok.  _'Yeah, I can do this.'_

 

He looked at Sanghyeok once more and smiled. And Sanghyeok smiled back warmly in return.

And that was all the sign he needed: He _can_ definitely forget and bury everything.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * - https://twitter.com/philophobicss/status/1134407049154945024?s=19 and https://twitter.com/philophobicss/status/1134424065031016448?s=19

A week after their match against SSG, the SKT members finally got their long-awaited 3 day vacation. Most of the members chose to visit their respective homes and the only ones left in the gaming house are Wangho, Jaewan and Sanghyeok. Because they're free of any schedule, they are allowed to do anything or go anywhere they want for as long as they'll be back on or before the third day. For Wangho, he'll be having a coffee with Kyungho today who has been wanting to hang-out with him since.

~~

The coffee shop is an eccentric little place tucked in a common corner of the nearest shopping street, somewhat hidden by the more modern establishments and shops of bigger buildings lining the busy street. Wangho hadn’t even known of this place’s existence before today, thoughtlessly following the directions Kyungho messaged him until he found himself carefully pushing open a polished wooden door that smells vaguely like jasmine. 

He produces his wallet from his pocket and orders two pastries and two drinks. He sits down somewhere, absentmindedly crinkling the receipt with his left hand. A few minutes later, Kyungho arrives and he greeted him with a hug.

"Ahhh, how is my favorite dongsaeng?" Kyungho asks as he settled down on the opposite side. "They're not treating you bad now, right?"

"Aigooo, hyung! you don't have to worry about anything. They're really treating me well." He chastised. Despite the Rox Tigers splitting already, Wangho remains in contact with all of them and he still treats them as his brothers. And even if they are in different teams, Wangho is glad that this didn't hinder their brotherhood relationship and occasionally still hang-out. They still even duo in League from time to time.

"So...how is it in SKT?" Kyungho asked, totally curious about it. 

"It was...a bit overwhelming at first." He started, and Kyungho scrunches his browns, a bit concern for his close friend. "But I've adjusted now, if that's what you're worried about. And it's actually fun. They're fun." He explained, and relief slowly washed on his face. And then Kyungho grins, making him confused.

"And what about Faker? How is it playing besides the great Faker?" Kyungho pries. "You know what, actually just ignore that. How is it rooming with Faker? I saw some of your streams and you seem to be having a _looooot_ of fun." He teases, fully aware of Wangho's admiration, and Wangho faintly blushes, ducking his head.

"Ahhhh...Hyung" Wangho sighs, looking slightly embarrassed. "It's... nothing like that. He’s just, um… He’s not what I expected."

"Not what you expected? how?"

Wangho shrugs. "It's just...I thought… I always thought that he was the typical cold, intimidating, and silent person, but he’s different. He’s actually nice. He's fun to talk to, fun to play with, fun to tease with. He even gave me some advice. I mean, I guess before I just admire him as a player...but..." His voice trails off, he makes a vague hand gesture that he hopes Kyungho will interpret correctly.

Despite what had happened, Wangho won't deny that he did enjoy rooming with Faker. And it's not just because he is fan. On the contrary, it's because he has gotten to know Sanghyeok deeper. He has enjoyed their talks so far, likes the way that Sanghyeok lets him talk about random stuff and doesn’t look bored—though he may act or say he’s bored, his eyes always light up and Wangho has noticed that he’s hanging off of his every word. He likes teasing him, and also likes Sanghyeok teasing him back. And upon rooming with him and getting to know him, Wangho was sure that he doesn’t just admire Faker - he admires Sanghyeok too.

Kyungho didn't say anything. Instead, he just kept peering at him, observing his reactions. He then recalled the look the two shared during the card game they had with the other LCK members* as well as some of Wangho's recent streams, SKT's off cam videos, and a few of his conversations with Wangho. He chuckled in disbelief at the huge  _possibility_. Finally Kyungho sighed, relaxing into the chair. "So," he started, bringing his eyes back to Wangho, "when are you going to tell Sanghyeok?"

Wangho only slightly adjusted his gaze to glance at Kyungho before returning it to the cake he is eating, "Tell Sanghyeok-hyung what?"

Kyungho blinked innocently, "That you're in love with him."

The sentence had to replay thrice in Wangho's mind before he snapped his head, rearing back in surprise, "What?" he asked, voice rising incredulous.

Kyungho stared at him, expression entirely serious. "You're in love with Sanghyeok," he repeated.

Wangho narrowed his eyes, and then his head tipped back and he laughed, he laughed from deep in his chest in heavy breaths, "Oh hyung you're super funny today."

Kyungho tilted his head, lip pulling up and nose scrunching into a sort of sneer and Wangho gave him a confuse look. "What's with that look."

"I'm trying to decide if you're stupid or if you think I'm stupid."

Wangho chuckled still in disbelief, "Ah Hyung, what are you saying? where is this coming from all of a sudden?"

"It's not sudden," Kyungho answered quickly and easily, "on the contrary,  I think it's been there since then. You just didn't notice it."

Wangho rolled his eyes at how rubbish it was. True, he does admire Sanghyeok. But love? He doesn't think so.

"Okay, fine. How about this," Kyungho was back to leaning towards him, eyebrows forever climbing higher. Wangho sighed, but he would humor him. Kyungho went on, and his lips were almost smiling. It was obvious he thought he was onto something, "I noticed on your streams and off cams that both you and Sanghyeok are pretty close. Often joking at each other, teasing each other, and sometimes a bit... touchy." Wangho blinked at Kyungho without verbal acknowledgement. "I mean, Sanghyeok rarely smiles. I remember when I first met him he just gave a curt greeting and a nod and that's it."

"Sorry hyung, but I'm lost."

"Okay," Kyungho said, holding his hands out in front of him, "now imagine all of the things you do-- the talks, the jokes, the banters, the mussing with the hairs, those random touches you do, the advises, all of that--" Kyungho's eyes grew a little wide, "and now imagine him doing the same things but to _someone_ else."

Wangho stared at Kyungho and thought about it. The way he and Sanghyeok tease each other, how Sanghyeok would just mess-up his hair, how Sanghyeok manage to always cheer him up with his advises, all the random little interactions and touches that had slowly built since he joined SKT. Then he imagined someone else in his place.

He felt his face growing hot. He was starting to get distinctly uncomfortable. His chest... did his chest feel a little tight? And then he remembered that time he overheard Junsik and Sanghyeok's conversation. And everything finally makes sense on why hearing it hurts so much. Heat flashed across Wangho's face and it felt like a stake was driven through his heart. He felt his mouth go dry and he felt his hand shaking. "Oh my god," he said, eyes growing wide. He slowly turned to fully face Kyungho, "I'm in love with him."

Kyungho brought his coffee to his mouth. "Yeah, dumbass" he said, smiling through the steam rising in front of his face, "I know."

"Hyung," Wangho said, turning his attention over to Kyungho with wide eyes, "What do I do?"

Kyungho blinked at him, "Uhm... excuse me?"

Wangho leaned closer, eyes full of dread. "What the hell should I  _do_?"

Kyungho shook his head, "That my friend, I don't know."

Wangho put his head in his hands and groaned, "Ahhh shit. I can't believe this."

Kyungho took another sip of his coffee, "Well look at the bright side," he said with a peppy shrug of his shoulders, "you're already rooming with him."

Wangho's face fell over on the table and groaned even louder against his palms. 

Kyungho pat his shoulders, "There, there."

"Ahhh, I hate you hyung."

~~

When Wangho got back to the gaming house that night, he was utterly relieved that Sanghyeok was nowhere to be seen. The last thing he wanted now would be to be in same room with the person he has feelings for. 

He lies down and begins thinking. He thinks about avoiding Sanghyeok, but that would be totally impossible given how they are on the same team (not to mention, same room). The idea of confessing comes into his mind, but the fear of rejection is too hard to handle. 

He sighed in defeat. He is considering all of his options, checking each angles and possibilities, carefully weighing the pros and cons of the situation he's in. And the best option he comes up with is to keep his feelings to himself until it goes away and pretend everything is normal.

And that is what he will eventually do. He's done it before (when he overhead Junsik and Sanghyeok's conversation), he can do it again. He didn’t even think he could do it. But he managed pretty well that time.

"You can do this. You'll be fine." Wangho whispered to himself. He knows he is strong. He'll get over it. He will. He'll just keep have to keep everything to himself and act normally until the feeling dies away.

* * *

It wasn't easy doing what he planned the next day especially with only three people in the gaming house, but he has managed to keep himself together. And as the hours passed, the other SKT members slowly arrived one by one. Wangho thanked the gods for this because with their presence, he'll be able to find a good distraction from his predicament.

On their last free night, someone had the idea of organizing a movie night for all the members as a celebration for their (probably) last vacation. Wangho got a gut feeling that that someone is either Junsik or Seunghoon (or possibly both), but it’s not like he’s against the idea (in fact, he likes it. Helps keep his mind distracted). On the contrary, everyone is in desperate need of a fun activity to keep their mind off of from the upcoming grueling week of nothing but practice and the looming reality of the battle of the telecom wars.

So now, here he is, sitting on the floor at the far end of the room as he watch Junsik set up the projector. Jaewan and Haneul pinned a large white sheet on one of the walls, pushed aside the few chairs so that everyone has room to sit down, and bought nearly all of the snacks from the fridge. 

"This seems fun, isn’t it?" Wangho jolt back as he heard that oh so familiar voice that has been the cause of his recent distress. He looked up and before he can even say something, Sanghyeok squat down besides him. "Do you know what movie we’re watching?" 

"I...don’t," answers Wangho as he turn his attention back to the other members, trying to ignore the way their shoulders brush or their close proximity. The two of them settled in a comfortable (albeit a little awkward) silence as they continue to watch the other members set up the projector. After a few minutes, it finally connects and a Blackpink wallpaper gets projected onto the makeshift screen. The room is suddenly full of loud voice, shouting movie titles that range from straight up explosion-packed action films to sappy tear-jerking romances.

"I'm sorry my boys, but I already pick a movie." Junsik announces, as he held the flash drive with a mischievous grin. Wangho is immediately suspicious. 

"What are we watching?" Haneul asks as he settle down and pass some of the snacks.

"You are all going to _love_ this," Junsik says. Again, his grin makes Wangho think otherwise. And he’s proven right when Junsik finally inserts the flash drive into the laptop and pulls up the movie player, a title appearing onscreen:  _The Conjuring 2._

This gets a lot of interesting reactions from everyone. Haneul makes a sound like a dying whale while waving his hands frantically. Jaewan and Seunghoon, cheered very loudly. There’s a hiss of ‘what the hell ’ that comes from Sungu, followed by a ‘what, you scared?’ from Junhyung. 

"Come on guys," Junsik tells the room at large. "Trust me, this is going to be fun! Plus, getting ourselves into scary situations together will surely strengthen our bond."

The lights get turned off and the complaints die in favor of keeping an eye at the screen, as though that will fend off whatever terrible, malevolent thing that is going to pop out. As the movie begins to roll and the scenes continues to unfold, Wangho starts to feel uncomfortable. He's not particularly fond of horror movies because he is a huge scaredy-cat.

Twenty-five minutes into the movie and the scene grew incredibly ominous, with a random toy car going into the child's room and the child going outside of his room in the middle of the night to check who threw the car. And as the child goes slowly out of his room, the music becomes spooky and Wangho grew more tense. As the scene slowly becomes a bit sinister, he starts to close his eyes and begins to dock away from the screen. Everything grows eerily quiet for a moment, and then-

Wangho jerks from his seat as a loud something happened onscreen. His eyes remained closed, and his legs felt weak. He knew it was a bit dumb to be scared by a movie but he couldn't help it. He heard a few curses here and there as well as Junsik's laughing voice in the background. 

"Hey...It’s gone now. You can open your eyes." He hears Sanghyeok's calm voice whisper to his ears and as much as he hate to admit it, it calms him down, as if giving him a sense of security. Wangho slowly opened his eyes and was horrified when he sees his hands on top of Sanghyeok's. Somehow, that scary scene made him jolt back and he placed his hand unconsciously on top of Sanghyeok's. He lifts his hand back up as fast as he could and slightly repositions himself.

"T-thanks...." He replies, sounding embarrassed.

"No problem," Sanghyeok says, as he turn his attention back to the movie. Wangho, however is now a bit distracted due to just what happened.

Eventually, the movie comes to an end. Jaewan turns the lights back on, and the room is filled with released breaths and loud sighs of relief.

"That was a horrible idea," Sungu says.

"Naww, come on. It wasn't that bad." Seunghoon countered.

"Alright, bathroom break!" Junsik announces from the sidelines. "We’re watching another movie, so be back here in five!"

"Can we please watch something light this time?" Jaewan says even though he seems entertained by the happenings. "As much as it was fun seeing Haneul trying to muffle his screams, I don’t want him to actually faint."

“Fine,” Junsik relents with a sigh. He opens another folder from the flash drive and the title _Zootopia_ appears. Because everyone seemed all right with it, they go ahead with it as the their second movie.

The hours passed and they were already on their fourth movie. It was past one am already and it doesn’t take long for Wangho to be yawning, struggling to stay awake. Feeling his eyes dropping, Wangho decided it is time to head out. He excused himself, telling them he's already sleepy and the others seemed fine with it as they continue their attention back on the film. He heads towards his room and lies down, eager for some sleep.  Just as he was about to close his eyes, the door opens. He languidly looked up, only to see Sanghyeok enter. 

As Sanghyeok sits on the edge of his bed, he cast a look at Wangho, and the latter blink, clearly puzzle on why the night-owl Sanghyeok decides to head off early while the others where still watching the movie. Sanghyeok seemed to have understood Wangho and he gave a light chuckle.

"The movie bore me."  

"hmm..." He doesn’t answer, instead just rolls the blanket up as he slowly doze off to sleep. He faintly heard Sanghyeok's calm voice wishing him goodnight, but he's eyes were already close so he could probably be just imagining it. 

* * *

The following days after that movie night, Wangho noticed a strange shift in their dynamic that wasn't there before in all those months. Maybe it's just his imagination or maybe he's just too overly conscious, but for some time now, he always finds himself crossing paths with Sanghyeok. For starters, Sanghyeok's been really talkative to him. Not that they weren't in talking conditions before, just that he's been initiating _a lot_ of conversations recently and at the same time interrupting who he is conversing with (often times Sungu, Junsik, and Seunghoon). He's also been watching him when he plays, often times taking a peak at his game regardless if he's streaming or not (which is kinda bad for his heart because he suddenly gets all conscious). There's also been a few invites from him lately, be it going to practice or heading home or eating together, and ever since the first time Wangho said yes to Sanghyeok, he hasn't been able to say no again. Wangho assumes that is probably just Sanghyeok's way of treating his friends. And no matter how difficult it is on his side now that he's aware of his feelings, he still gives in nonetheless.

On the night before their match against KT Rolster, the SKT members were given an early off in preparation for it. But rather than resting, Wangho made use of this time catching up with the american series Game of Thrones. He sits on his bed, plugged in his earphones, and continued watching the said series. He was heavily focused on it that he didn't notice someone sneaking upon him. And before he knew it, someone grabbed his shoulder and Wangho jumps violently.

"Scared you," Sanghyeok laughs, taking a step back.  

Wangho's face is pale, breaths heavy, eyes wide but his posture relaxing when he realizes there’s no true threat. In one swift motion, he pulls his earbuds out of his ears. "Never,  _ever_  do that again."

"Ohhh but you’re adorable when you’re scared," Sanghyeok drawls. Wangho swallows, unable to think of a comeback and faltering, breaking their stare and looking at the wall instead. He feels irrationally nervous as he does, so he reminds himself that this is also  _his_  room, his space, and that there’s nothing wrong with what they’re doing right now.

"What are you watching?" Sanghyeok asks as he casually plops down onto his bed like he owns the place.  

Wangho turns back around and he gave him a small smile. "You know nothing, Jon Snow."

Sanghyeok looks confused, and Wangho chuckles. "It's Game of Thrones."

"Oh...that one!" Sanghyeok exclaimed animatedly as he lunges forward towards him and sat on his bed, much to Wangho's horror. "Let me have a look as well. If I'll like it, I might watch it."

Wangho shifts to the side so that Sanghyeok can sit beside him. They put two pillows propped up vertically against the wall and both of their backs against it, the laptop balanced between their laps. And when it was settled, Wangho played the series. He begins to give some brief explanation on the plot to Sanghyeok. "It's kinda confusing now. But that's just because you haven't started it yet."

Everything started out fine in the first few minutes, until Sanghyeok shifts closer and their shoulders pressed together. Wangho tried to overlook their close proximity, focusing more on the episode rather than his current situation, but then their hands suddenly brushed and this time, Wangho had to turn to him, only to find Sanghyeok looking back at him as well. 

Their face was impossibly close and that's when Wangho sees it. The light from the laptop is on Sanghyeok, casting across his features, accentuating the colors in his eyes. Wangho had never thought much about brown eyes before, had never found them particularly outstanding, but he thinks that it’s starting to become his favorite color.

Wangho is stuck on the topic of eye colors in his mind when Sanghyeok exhales, slow and soft. And Wangho realizes that he’s holding his breath, but he doesn’t want to risk letting go, doesn’t want to risk moving in the slightest.

A second passed.

A second passed between Sanghyeok watching him, and warm lips pressed against his. Wangho's eyes widen and it takes approximately one point three seconds to realize that Sanghyeok is kissing him.

And then he’s gone, pulled back, eyes wide as if he can’t quite believe what he’d just done. And Wangho can’t either. In fact, he still hasn’t reacted, just froze there stupidly, staring at him awkwardly because it’s definitely not possible that Lee Sanghyeok, the person he has feelings for, just kissed him.

"I’m sorry," Sanghyeok blurts out.

The words are loud, harsh on Wangho's ears. Wangho searches for something to say, searches for a reaction, but the events are still catching up to him. He lifts his hands, reaches up to touch his own bottom lip, trying to recollect the feeling. It had felt lighter than a feather, lighter than anything he’d ever felt before.

Sanghyeok, on the other hand, isn’t nearly as confused. Or, at least, it’s not the same type of confusion. He shifts back, moving away and standing against the bed frame. "I’m sorry," he repeats. "I’m so sorry, Wangho. I’m sorry."

Wangho sits up too, watching the other guy carefully. Sanghyeok must’ve misinterpreted his reaction. He can explain, and then they can talk it through, and maybe everything—

"I didn’t mean that."

Oh.

( _Oh._ )

He waits for Sanghyeok to follow up, but he doesn’t.

(And Sanghyeok hadn’t meant that. Hadn’t meant anything by that kiss) 

Wangho begins to wonder what it is that he’s feeling, wonders what it is that is threatening to split him into pieces, threatening to tear him apart from the inside out. And then it occurs to him that his heart just got broken, stepped on. Whether it was on purpose or not, Sanghyeok had just stepped on him. Left a footprint on his chest, an irreparable scar.

"I’m sorry," Sanghyeok repeats.

He sucks in a sharp breath. "Don’t say that."

Sanghyeok shakes his head, confused. "Sorry." He cringes. "No, I mean, I... I don’t know what else to…"

Wangho releases the breath.

Of course the kiss hadn’t meant anything. Perhaps Sanghyeok had been caught up in the moment. And while his chest feels like a knife cutting deep inside, he can’t bring it to himself to be furious. There’s no anger. Just despair and chaos and  _distress_  mixing together, giving him with a blend that’s taking over, flooding his thoughts, making him dizzy, blood rushing to his head. He doesn’t want Sanghyeok to see— _can’t_  let him see because he values their friendship above anything, and if revealing his emotions means losing that, he won't do it.

"I need to go," Sanghyeok blurts, suddenly, and then he’s slipping on his slippers and is out the door in an instant, leaving Wangho sitting on the bed, staring at the spot where his roommate had been standing.

He’s gone.

And if he had thought the loss of Sanghyeok's presence had been bad, the loss of his friendship feels much much worse. It feels like there's this huge void, starting somewhere deep in his chest and spiraling outwards. He stands, after a while, but his legs are numb underneath him, and the void only gets worse.

He looked at the still playing laptop on the bed and closes it.

* * *

 

 


End file.
